1 Upbringing 

One of the first things we need to deal with are the mixed messages we received and internalized in our formative years. A perfect example of one such negative message we received as children and young adults was from the grownups in our lives who said, ‘don’t let boys touch you … don’t be promiscuous’ …  ‘all boys/men want is sex’ … ‘why buy the cow’, etc. etc. So, not only was sex itself something negative, now we’re cows!?

This negative commentary around sex may have been directed mostly at the girls, but the boys heard it loud and clear as well. Many many women have had the experience, growing up, of trying to verbalize our interest in sex, or acting on an attraction, only to be accused of being ‘too forward’ and made to feel humiliated about it. That being comfortable and open about our sexuality meant we were promiscuous, even unnatural.

What about that ‘dangerous’ male sex drive? While, statistically, it is true that most men think about sex every few minutes—it turns out that women think about it too—a lot. (This is a whole area for a separate conversation 🙂

Although many of the messages women have received; that our sex drive has to be repressed, that the body is dirty and we don’t talk about it, have made us uncomfortable to start, or even join in the conversation … we need to talk!

Why Now? Because the time has come to change history …

2 Conditioning and Religious Mores

–religious beliefs can infiltrate our perceptions of sex  

From the way sex was spoken about in church, temple and school to the laws passed today, sexual perceptions, choices and beliefs have been made for you since birth.

Depending on how fierce the religious climate was that you were brought up in, there was a laundry list of sex-related, sex-negative ‘SHALT NOTS’ that you would have been taught. For instance; God hears all lustful thoughts, sex before marriage is immoral and punishable with hellfire, that masturbation is dirty, homosexuality (“sodomy”) is a perversion and abortion is murder, to name a few …

The views of religions and religious believers vary widely, from giving sex and sexuality a negative connotation to believing that sex is the highest expression of the divine. Some religions distinguish between morally acceptable sexual activities, practiced for biological reproduction (usually only allowed within a formal marital status and at a certain age), while other sexual activities, practiced purely for pleasure, are immoral.

Even if religion played a fairly minor role in your home life, the laws of the land very likely reflected (and often still reflect) a lot of those religious attitudes. If you are a woman, (or homosexual) an awful lot of effort over the millennia has gone into using religion/law to control your body and your life.

3 Societal  pressures and backward thinking 

We still live in a Patriarchal society that needs to be modified…

If you doubt that there is still a lot of work to be done, just read the comment section on a Twitter feed or YouTube video that deals with women being sexually liberated—or strong, or equal, or even funny, etc. etc. and you will be instantly plunged back into the dark ages of society’s perspective on women and how they should behave. Those anonymous keyboard warriors are happy to let you know what they really think!

For all the positive benefits of being connected by social media and the internet, it has also made us even more constantly vulnerable to negative societal pressures. We need to stay strong and positive and continue working on a society where women are equal. A society where women feel safe to:

  • act on their genuine desires (in and out of bed!)
  • define for themselves who they are as women and as human beings
  • tell their authentic stories
  • dress how they want
  • do all this without fear, judgement or shame from men or other women

Orgasm And Orgasm Equality are a Cultural Issue 

Women’s Right’s and the Sexual Revolution are tied together and there is confusion around both. This has created quite the cultural conundrum …

4 Unfamiliar with our own anatomy

–not knowing what we want and what’s possible 

Sometimes, it is made to seem like the only thing more complicated and mysterious than IKEA instructions is the female anatomy, especially when it comes to sex! Why?

A story many female friends have shared is the memory of the first time a tampon ad come on TV while the whole family was watching (including dad and brothers) and it was—mortifying! Again, why? Was it because we never talked about women’s bodies, let alone how they worked? Periods were tied to being a grown up sexual woman and the squeamish, embarrassed reaction of the males around us (and even some of the women), told us it was supposed to be secret, even shameful information.

Periods, childbirth, sex—it was enough to have boys covering their ears and girls left trying to work out their blossoming sexual desires in relation to their suddenly scary and somehow embarrassing (at the time) female bodies. That mental and emotional disconnect between the harmless swooning crushes of ‘pure’ romantic love (nice) and the hormone-driven, fluid-filled realities (even nicer!) of bodies engaged in grownup sex had begun.

How do we go beyond such an inadequate start with school and family and society? We need to be knowledgable about, comfortable with and proud of our own anatomy and what it can give us. We need to know who to trust to give us the right information…

We can help with that!

5 Communicating with your partner

–are you still ashamed/embarrassed to ask for what you want?

If you’ve ever felt like you were the only one who feels inhibited or awkward talking about your personal desires … you are not alone.

There are some very important conversations about sex and permission swirling around the zeitgeist right now, based on “how do men and women talk to each other about sex and what needs to change about that conversation”. A lot of women have baggage (emotional and physical) around talking honestly to men about sex, so that means a lot of men have never heard any hard(!) truths about their performance in bed. As far as they can tell, their penis is magic! I mean, no one’s ever complained so, they must be doing everything right … right?

And if a woman’s sex signals are hard to read? That’s ‘okay’ according to the traditional view, because, the ‘good woman’ resists (politely), the ‘sexy man’ persuades (strongly) and if he persists and gets what he wants the woman wins too—‘cause, magic penis! But, in reality, unsatisfactory or just acceptable sex becomes the norm for both parties. Her unspoken, unfulfilled wants become an internal conflict that inhibits her libido and and he’ll keep assuming she is content with the sex they’re having and so the negative cycle continues. But, here’s a super secret—nobody likes bad sex!

So, how do we become an adventuress in the bedroom—how do we leave our traditional sex-negative training behind and learn to talk about the Sex We Want honestly?

To enjoy really good sex, requires both people to gain the knowledge needed, to communicate with each other and to mutually agree on what they are willing to try—then (just like getting to Carnegie Hall) practice, practice, practice 🙂

Ultimately, being honest about sex with your partner means everybody really does win, because this kind of knowledge isn’t a weapon—it’s a gift.

“Before you can learn a new way of doing things, you have to unlearn the old way. Beginnings depend on endings.”
–Rich Mauer

1 Upbringing 

One of the first things we need to deal with are the mixed messages we received and internalized in our formative years. A perfect example of one such negative message we received as children and young adults was from the grownups in our lives who said, ‘don’t let boys touch you … don’t be promiscuous’ …  ‘all boys/men want is sex’ … ‘why buy the cow’, etc. etc. So, not only was sex itself something negative, now we’re cows!?

This negative commentary around sex may have been directed mostly at the girls, but the boys heard it loud and clear as well. Many many women have had the experience, growing up, of trying to verbalize our interest in sex, or acting on an attraction, only to be accused of being ‘too forward’ and made to feel humiliated about it. That being comfortable and open about our sexuality meant we were promiscuous, even unnatural.

What about that ‘dangerous’ male sex drive? While, statistically, it is true that most men think about sex every few minutes—it turns out that women think about it too—a lot. (This is a whole area for a separate conversation 🙂

Although many of the messages women have received; that our sex drive has to be repressed, that the body is dirty and we don’t talk about it, have made us uncomfortable to start, or even join in the conversation … we need to talk!

Why Now? Because the time has come to change history …

2 Conditioning and Religious Mores

–religious beliefs can infiltrate our perceptions of sex  

From the way sex was spoken about in church, temple and school to the laws passed today, sexual perceptions, choices and beliefs have been made for you since birth.

Depending on how fierce the religious climate was that you were brought up in, there was a laundry list of sex-related, sex-negative ‘SHALT NOTS’ that you would have been taught. For instance; God hears all lustful thoughts, sex before marriage is immoral and punishable with hellfire, that masturbation is dirty, homosexuality (“sodomy”) is a perversion and abortion is murder, to name a few …

The views of religions and religious believers vary widely, from giving sex and sexuality a negative connotation to believing that sex is the highest expression of the divine. Some religions distinguish between morally acceptable sexual activities, practiced for biological reproduction (usually only allowed within a formal marital status and at a certain age), while other sexual activities, practiced purely for pleasure, are immoral.

Even if religion played a fairly minor role in your home life, the laws of the land very likely reflected (and often still reflect) a lot of those religious attitudes. If you are a woman, (or homosexual) an awful lot of effort over the millennia has gone into using religion/law to control your body and your life.

3 Societal  pressures and backward thinking 

We still live in a Patriarchal society that needs to be modified…

If you doubt that there is still a lot of work to be done, just read the comment section on a Twitter feed or YouTube video that deals with women being sexually liberated—or strong, or equal, or even funny, etc. etc. and you will be instantly plunged back into the dark ages of society’s perspective on women and how they should behave. Those anonymous keyboard warriors are happy to let you know what they really think!

For all the positive benefits of being connected by social media and the internet, it has also made us even more constantly vulnerable to negative societal pressures. We need to stay strong and positive and continue working on a society where women are equal. A society where women feel safe to:

  • act on their genuine desires (in and out of bed!)
  • define for themselves who they are as women and as human beings
  • tell their authentic stories
  • dress how they want
  • do all this without fear, judgement or shame from men or other women

Orgasm And Orgasm Equality are a Cultural Issue 

Women’s Right’s and the Sexual Revolution are tied together and there is confusion around both. This has created quite the cultural conundrum …

4 Unfamiliar with our own anatomy

–not knowing what we want and what’s possible 

Sometimes, it is made to seem like the only thing more complicated and mysterious than IKEA instructions is the female anatomy, especially when it comes to sex! Why?

A story many female friends have shared is the memory of the first time a tampon ad come on TV while the whole family was watching (including dad and brothers) and it was—mortifying! Again, why? Was it because we never talked about women’s bodies, let alone how they worked? Periods were tied to being a grown up sexual woman and the squeamish, embarrassed reaction of the males around us (and even some of the women), told us it was supposed to be secret, even shameful information.

Periods, childbirth, sex—it was enough to have boys covering their ears and girls left trying to work out their blossoming sexual desires in relation to their suddenly scary and somehow embarrassing (at the time) female bodies. That mental and emotional disconnect between the harmless swooning crushes of ‘pure’ romantic love (nice) and the hormone-driven, fluid-filled realities (even nicer!) of bodies engaged in grownup sex had begun.

How do we go beyond such an inadequate start with school and family and society? We need to be knowledgable about, comfortable with and proud of our own anatomy and what it can give us. We need to know who to trust to give us the right information…

We can help with that!

5 Communicating with your partner

–are you still ashamed/embarrassed to ask for what you want?

If you’ve ever felt like you were the only one who feels inhibited or awkward talking about your personal desires … you are not alone.

There are some very important conversations about sex and permission swirling around the zeitgeist right now, based on “how do men and women talk to each other about sex and what needs to change about that conversation”. A lot of women have baggage (emotional and physical) around talking honestly to men about sex, so that means a lot of men have never heard any hard(!) truths about their performance in bed. As far as they can tell, their penis is magic! I mean, no one’s ever complained so, they must be doing everything right … right?

And if a woman’s sex signals are hard to read? That’s ‘okay’ according to the traditional view, because, the ‘good woman’ resists (politely), the ‘sexy man’ persuades (strongly) and if he persists and gets what he wants the woman wins too—‘cause, magic penis! But, in reality, unsatisfactory or just acceptable sex becomes the norm for both parties. Her unspoken, unfulfilled wants become an internal conflict that inhibits her libido and and he’ll keep assuming she is content with the sex they’re having and so the negative cycle continues. But, here’s a super secret—nobody likes bad sex!

So, how do we become an adventuress in the bedroom—how do we leave our traditional sex-negative training behind and learn to talk about the Sex We Want honestly?

To enjoy really good sex, requires both people to gain the knowledge needed, to communicate with each other and to mutually agree on what they are willing to try—then (just like getting to Carnegie Hall) practice, practice, practice 🙂

Ultimately, being honest about sex with your partner means everybody really does win, because this kind of knowledge isn’t a weapon—it’s a gift.

“Before you can learn a new way of doing things, you have to unlearn the old way. Beginnings depend on endings.”
–Rich Mauer

Give yourself Permission to open yourself up to the world of Sensuality and Sexuality …

What are you waiting for? Why deny yourself anything that gives you pleasure at this stage in your life.

We believe that our products will help our consumers to regularly experience this feeling in their lives.

 

IT’S TIME FOR A SENSUAL AWAKENING AND TO HAVE THE SEX YOU LONG FOR—join us!